


And the Balance Distorted

by xDinahQueenx



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M, Physical Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 14:59:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xDinahQueenx/pseuds/xDinahQueenx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>He slowly put his hand over the top of Aaron's, fingers pressing in between where Aaron's fingers were spread. That got his attention. Aaron's gaze turned towards him again and Spencer drew back like he'd been burned, almost flinching. Aaron's brows drew together. </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And the Balance Distorted

**Author's Note:**

> Written for purewhitepage.

It was late, just a little past one in the morning, and Spencer had finished reading the books he'd brought. He hadn't expected as much down time; but there had been a lot of processing still left to do and a need for more data. With only two victims, there wasn't much information to go off of. Geographical profile was incomplete, the connection between the victims hadn't been made… except that they were of a similar age. It was one of those situations- hurry up and wait- while more data trickled in. Evidence being processed, more crime scenes, more victims. It was the most uncomfortable part of the job… hoping that a serial killer just stopped on their own, but knowing it was impossible, then the niggling feeling of guilt that one was actually _wishing_ for another victim, just for the likelihood that they could prevent the next death after that. But the point was- he was out of reading material. And sleeplessness had settled in. After tossing and turning for a little over a half an hour, Spencer gave up on sleeping.  
  
He could have re-read some of the books he had brought, but that idea did not appeal to him in the slightest. The truth was, he had seen a twenty-four hour supermarket on the way to the hotel and he could easily take one of the bureau vehicles- or a cab- to there and buy something (or things) to read. Although they probably mostly had children's books and mystery thrillers and trashy romance novels. Spencer would deal with any of those things, because it was better than staring at the ceiling or watching whatever asinine thing that was on the television.  
  
He didn't bother to completely re-dress himself. The slacks and button down were fine and he pulled his shoes on and grabbed his wallet and checked for the keys- but he was pretty sure Morgan had them, so he'd likely just have reception call a cab for him. He headed out of the room and down the stairs and was about to head to reception- passing by the hotel bar when he saw _Aaron_ there- that was curious enough to where he abandoned his previous plans and slipped into the dimly lit bar and slid on the stool next to Aaron.  
  
His approach hadn't been subtle; but if Aaron noticed directly, he didn't say anything. Just raised his glass to his lips again and finished the liquid in it, ice clinking against crystal.  
  
"Are you alright?" Aaron asked. The question threw Spencer, because obviously he should be the one asking that question. Aaron looked at his watch. "It's after one, you should be sleeping." Aaron's voice was a little roughened from- the alcohol? Lack of sleep? Something- and it made Spencer frown slightly and feel uncertain.  
  
"I couldn't sleep," Spencer replied and Aaron made a quiet noise in response. Spencer frowned a little more. "Are _you_ alright?"  
  
Spencer didn't expect an actual answer to the question; Aaron was stoic and kept his feelings close to his chest. He preached a lot about the team being open with one another, _sharing_ , but he was not really good at it himself… Spencer had noticed.  
  
He was surprised when Aaron shrugged his shoulders and then shook his head.  
  
"Not particularly," Aaron answered, tracing along the design on the glass. Spencer was stunned in to silence, unsure how to deal with the sudden honesty. Not that Aaron ever… _lied_ , exactly. But they didn't talk about not work stuff. And this was- maybe it was related to work. So he waited a little and then-  
  
"Is it about the uh… case?" Spencer asked. Aaron turned slightly to look at him, lips pursing slightly, before shaking his head again.  
  
"No." Aaron's voice had a note of finality in it, to where Spencer wasn't sure if he should ask what was wrong. Aaron didn't seem to want to talk about it. Spencer was sure this was… normally where people would offer support. He tried to think of what _Dave_ might do.  
  
Though he was pretty sure Dave would probably by Aaron another drink and drink with him. Those were things that Spencer decided were a fairly _bad_ idea. Aaron wasn't drunk, but there was a slight flush on his cheeks and his… he wasn't exactly being open, but knowing something was wrong, that it wasn't about the case… it gave Spencer pause.  
  
Aaron was this- pillar of strength. Something that Spencer had aspired to, because it seemed like nothing shook him, nothing threw him, nothing… _affected him_. So to see this, something so real, even though it wasn't… excessive. It was surprising and it gave Spencer a general feeling of… well he wasn't exactly ill at ease, but it was just. He didn't have any real thing to fall back on. As far as, how it went, or how to react and interact.  
  
He wasn't a really touchy-feely type of person, nor was Aaron, but he felt that maybe- _contact_ would be something that he'd want. Spencer was tentative, but he saw Aaron's hand on the counter and he put his own up on there. Aaron's eyes were back facing forward, so Spencer slid his hand along the counter, marble cool beneath his fingertips, until his pinky bumped in to Aaron's.  
  
He slowly put his hand over the top of Aaron's, fingers pressing in between where Aaron's fingers were spread. That got his attention. Aaron's gaze turned towards him again and Spencer drew back like he'd been burned, almost flinching. Aaron's brows drew together.  
  
"You're sweet," Aaron murmured, "Thank you but…" He trailed off with another shrug. Spencer sat there, thinking about what to do or say- like maybe he should return to his quest for a trashy romance novel or something else. But something _was_ bothering Aaron and Spencer would feel… not like a good friend if he just let it lie. Despite the fact that all of Aaron's body language was closed off and perhaps he should just go wake Dave up.  
  
 _They_ were best friends, after all.  
  
Spencer wasn't bitter about it, not _really_ , but he and Aaron had been closer before Jason had left. Before Dave had arrived. Before- well, everything he supposed. Not that there'd been a particular point or reason that things had broken down- it had just been…  
  
Spencer didn't exactly know. He could blame Dave or Jason or the dilaudid or Jack and Haley or Foyet or _Beth_ ; but it was probably something earlier. Something that he'd done? Or something that had just happened as Spencer and Aaron drifted apart like two ships whose anchors had become untangled.  
  
At some point, Aaron had stopped being impressed and awed by him; Spencer had stopped needing Aaron to shore himself up.  
  
Those things just happened. It was a part of growing up, Jason would have told him. Spencer's fingers curled a little and he folded his hands in his lap looking down at them.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Spencer finally asked. "Should I get-" He started to ask if he should get Dave, but Aaron was sliding his phone over to Spencer. His brow furrowed, but he picked it up, finger sliding across the screen.  
  
"There's a voice mail," Aaron said. There was something distinct in his voice, something- Spencer wasn't sure what it was. Because he'd never heard that particular note in his superior's voice. Something maybe- broken. Small. Unsure. Spencer frowned.  
  
Spencer stared blankly at the phone, but then nodded.  
  
"The code is one-zero-zero-seven," Aaron told him. Spencer recognized it- Jack's birthday- he knew because every year since he'd been old enough to read Spencer had gotten him those books that got more difficult to read as a child got older. He'd never needed them, but Aaron had once said that Jack really enjoyed them. So Spencer continued to do it.  
  
He listened to the voice mail. He didn't get it. The conversation was distant, a man and a woman's voice and some laughing, the rustle of something (sheets?) and then the conversation and laughing devolved in to quiet sighs and some other noises.  
  
Spencer swallowed roughly and frowned- were those _sex noises_? He almost dropped the phone in surprise.  
  
The message beeped it's end and Spencer looked at Aaron. Aaron was watching him and Spencer thought the confusion on his own face wasn't what Aaron wanted to see. Because he suddenly looked even more bothered than before. And when the bartender asked if he wanted a refill, Aaron said yes.  
  
Spencer put his hand over the top of the glass.  
  
"He doesn't mean that," Spencer said. Which was a gamble, especially with the way anger sparked behind normally cool brown eyes. Spencer didn't think Aaron would hit him though. Maybe.  
  
He didn't flinch.  
  
"Spencer, so help me," Aaron started, dangerous note in his tone and Spencer thought he should back down. He kept his hand over the glass, though. The bartender was confused and Spencer wondered if Aaron was going to make a scene. "You don't even get what the problem is, do you?" Aaron accused.  
  
That was a pretty fair accusation; Spencer sort of got it. Someone was having sex on Aaron's voicemail. Which was _troubling_ , but not something to cause much upset. Spencer slowly shook his head and he was pretty sure Aaron was only just holding back from rolling his eyes.  
  
Aaron snatched his phone and then after fiddling with it, handed it back.  
  
Time stamp there, only two hours before right now. The call log _Beth Clemmons._  
  
Oh.  
  
"If you drink anymore you're going to do something you regret," Spencer tried to be calm, it was difficult when Aaron was glaring at him like that- with anger not directed at him exactly- but fierce enough to where even a serial killer would be cowed. Spencer didn't like that gaze on him. But he wasn't sure how to divert it.  
  
Except letting him drink.  
  
He really should have just gone and got Dave.  
  
When he'd been younger, whenever he'd gotten upset- when he'd been really young- his father would offer to take him to get ice cream. He wondered if he should offer that to Aaron. Maybe just some time to cool off. Maybe just… he wasn't entirely sure what to ask or offer.  
  
Aaron was still giving him a look- if they could kill… well.  
  
"I understand you're upset," Spencer said gently, laying his hand on Aaron's elbow. He didn't expect Aaron to react, but he did. He shook Spencer's hand off his arm.  
  
"You don't understand _anything_ ," Aaron hissed at him. And then Spencer felt the connect of Aaron's hands against his chest and his world spun and he was flat on his back, legs caught up in the bar stool. It _hurt_ and he yelped when he hit the ground.  
  
"Hey!" The bartender snapped at them, "Take it outside." He chastised, before moving to check on his other customers. Spencer was pretty sure he'd twisted his injured knee and he gritted his teeth as he stood, righting the barstool and giving Aaron a sort of injured look.  
  
Aaron had stood though, his jaw still tight with anger, and Spencer paused momentarily, throwing money down on the counter before he hurried as fast as his limping would allow after Aaron. Through the lobby and outside on to the street.  
  
" _Hey_ ," Spencer called after him, "Aaron, you need to talk about this." Spencer entreated his boss, but there was still that fury in his eyes.  
  
"With _you_?" Aaron spat at him, "What the hell do you think you know about this, Spencer? You think you're so smart but you don't know _anything_ that's important. This isn't like some stupid book you've read." Aaron was close now, nostrils flared and cheeks stained red with anger, eyes wild and fierce.  
  
Spencer was legitimately scared. Which he didn't like.  
  
"Aaron…"  
  
"Shut up!" Aaron shoved him again, this time he hit the wall of the building, head bouncing lightly off the brick, hard enough to make his vision spin. It didn't knock him senseless, though. And the truth was, he noticed the way Aaron looked unsteady and managed to regain himself enough to grab on to Aaron.  
  
To hold him up before he swayed and fell.  
  
"Damnit," Aaron cursed at him, his voice breaking, "Don't touch me." Spencer didn't let go… he wasn't sure if he should or not. He wasn't… sure what to do at all. Really, this was a situation out of his depth. He'd read about infidelity, the reasons why relationships broke down…  
  
He'd read them in secret, voraciously at the library, when his father had left. He'd tried to figure out the reason why he had gone and the subsequent divorce. The abandonment. Of course- because he was covering up a murder of a child molester… their shared secret… wasn't really in the books.  
  
But it didn't translate directly to real life, anyways. He could give statistics on how people weren't really built for monogamy and that it was different now that she was in New York, and that she was probably just lonely. It didn't mean anything.  
  
Somehow, he didn't really think that Aaron would appreciate any of those attempts at being supportive. Instead, Spencer rested his palm on the back of Aaron's neck and drew him in for a hug.  
  
"Do you want some ice cream?" Spencer asked. He felt Aaron still. He had been shaking and it stopped, the bubbling of sound of crying stopped, there was just the noise of the city around him and then- nothing. Spencer felt nervous, feeling Aaron's pulse beneath his fingers.  
  
Waiting to be hit again or just… some reaction. But Aaron was just _there_. Standing. Quiet and still.  
  
Spencer's heart was racing and his fingers curled against Aaron's neck, one arm around his waist, just standing there like this. When Aaron pulled back he looked calmer, which Spencer was glad of… it was like a microstorm, just having to weather the thunder and lightning and rain until it was… well, sunny normally. In this case it was more like overcast with a chance of the storm returning. His hand was still on Aaron's neck and his head hurt, but it felt… well, he didn't really know either. Aaron was still incredibly close.  
  
And hurting.  
  
Betrayed by his girlfriend and well… there was certainly no accounting for how that would make people react. He and Beth had seemed very close and as far as Spencer could tell, in love. Needless to say, considering how everything else had happened, he was very surprised when Aaron pushed him backwards again.  
  
Spencer was more surprised Aaron followed with him, pinning him to the wall and.  
  
"Aaron, you…" He started and was cut off by Aaron's lips over his own. Spencer made a noise, a whine. Half want and half protest and he managed to get his hands on Aaron's chest and _push_.  
  
"You're drunk," Spencer told him, trying to calm his heart rate down. It was beating so fast he thought it might beat through his chest. "You're just hurt and upset and not thinking clearly and you don't want…" _me_ "… this."  
  
Aaron frowned at him. "Yes, I do," Aaron said calmly, "I am not drunk. This isn't…"  
  
"What you want." Spencer tried to be firm about it, but it was hard to keep his guard up when Aaron was so close he could smell his cologne. He was still touching his chest, the warmth of his skin obvious through the material of his dress shirt. It was… a bad situation, really bad. He knew Aaron was in a place, a vulnerable place, that this was a decision he was making based on his own feelings of betrayal.  
  
Whatever emotion was here, whatever this was- it wasn't what Aaron really wanted. It was a mans to get back at Beth, to soothe his own troubled mind, and to bolster his ego like- she wasn't the only one who could find someone to be with when they were apart.  
  
Part of Spencer resented that; to be relegated to the rebound, to being used. But part of him _really_ liked Aaron. Wanted to help. Wanted _him_. His fingers curled against his chest.  
  
"Spencer, please," Aaron's voice was quiet, breath against his lips, whiskey and mint. Spencer closed his eyes and dropped his hands and let Aaron kiss him. Aaron was a good kisser. His lips were dry and warm and Spencer only hesitated for a moment before he let his fingers thread in to Aaron's hair.  
  
It felt weird, to be kissing outside. He was dwarfed by Aaron, feeling surrounded, one hand on a broad shoulder and the other in his hair. It was consuming like fire and it sparked warmth low in his belly and he wanted to protest almost as much as he wanted it.  
  
Because it wasn't fair- these feelings he had for Aaron that were going to be swept aside, in the morning, or just a few hours from now, once Aaron had made his point to himself. But he enjoyed it for now, while Aaron kissed him until he couldn't breathe.  
  
Spencer was giving Aaron a wide eyed look, breathless, when he finally pulled back. He ached- in different ways. Yearning, certainly, and yet…  
  
"We should go inside," Aaron's voice was quiet. Spencer hesitated. He could go- get his book, hide himself away in his room and forget this ever happened. Or give in, give Aaron what he needed, be _selfless_ at the expense of himself. Spencer didn't often look out for himself as well as he should, often put the needs of others before his own. He found himself nodding, before he was even sure of his decision.  
  
He followed Aaron up to his room.  
  
It didn't go exactly how Spencer was expecting either. Aaron was… Spencer wasn't entirely sure how to describe it. But once the door was closed and locked, Aaron's fingers were in his hair, a little too tight, as he pushed him down on to his knees. They were barely inside the door and it set the tone.  
  
Which was what Spencer had suspected, even when he'd said yes.  
  
And Aaron had said please. So Spencer dutifully unhooked his belt, metal clinking as he pushed it out of the way to get to the button on Aaron's slacks, pulling down the zipper. It was unpracticed and he fumbled a bit, sneaking glances up at Aaron. It made him more nervous to see his steady gaze, his strong jaw. Spencer swallowed hard.  
  
"Sorry," He whispered and Aaron's hand stroked over the back of his head and neck like petting an animal.  
  
"You don't have to apologize, it's alright," Aaron's voice was quiet too. Spencer swallowed a little and tugged Aaron's pants down and his underwear next. This hurt where his knee had been twisted, and Aaron's hand was pressing where he'd hit his head making him feel vaguely dizzy.  
  
He steadied himself with a hand on Aaron's hip and the other, he wrapped around the base of his cock. Aaron was hard already, dark and Spencer was incredibly nervous. His knee throbbed, he was hard himself, but he curled his fingers at Aaron's hip and wrapped his mouth around the head of his dick, sucking lightly.  
  
It was worth it- dizzying in a different way- with the way Aaron sighed out his name. It wasn't something Spencer was used to- giving or receiving- but when he'd first joined the bureau, well… it'd only happened a few times, but sometimes Jason got lonely and Spencer was very giving and he'd looked up to Jason.  
  
It was not unlike this- but this was better. Because he had looked up to Jason and admired him but he didn't feel like _this_ for him. His mouth around Aaron made Spencer feel incredibly hot, warm and prickled with heat as his fingers clutched at his hips and he was filled with the smell and taste of Aaron as he slowly started to move his head.  
  
Aaron wasn't really quiet- but he wasn't loud- just vocal. A lot of soft sighs and murmurs of Spencer's name. His fingers went tight in Spencer's hair, urging him on. Spencer slid his lips over Aaron, tongued at his slit, and hollowed his cheeks as he sucked.  
  
He was careful with his teeth and Aaron rocked his hips forward, slowly in to Spencer's mouth. Careful, even. When Spencer could go down, feeling Aaron at the back of his throat and it made him moan around him, eyes drifting closed, fingernails digging in to Aaron's hip.  
  
He dropped his hand from around Aaron, just using his mouth, letting him press in deep, until he was drawing in breaths through his nose, sucking on him with obscene wet noises, and Aaron was a font of words and moans that disappeared in to the quiet of the rest of the room.  
  
Spencer tugged his own pants open, pressed his fingers in to his boxers and wrapped a hand around himself. The angle was awkward, fabric of his pants limiting his movements. But he stroked himself as best as he could to the time of Aaron's shallow thrusts in to his mouth.  
  
Spencer sucked him harder, used his tongue more, and he could feel the dampness gathering at the corner of his mouth, leaking down his chin as there was so much- saliva and pre-come and he redoubled his efforts. He thrust his hips in to his own hand as Aaron's other hand joined the first in his hair.  
  
He was holding him there, fucking his mouth, he opened wider, tried to loosen his throat, swallowing awkwardly around him and groaning around him.  
  
It was good- messy, but great, and Aaron kept saying his name again and again.  
  
That washed over him, made his entire body quiver. And it was almost enough to make him believe that this wasn't the only time, the only thing, the only moment.  
  
Aaron's thrusts became erratic as Spencer sucked with more enthusiasm, carefully using his teeth to scrape along Aaron's length, pressing his tongue to his slit and then rubbing over the vein underneath, swirling his tongue around the head of Aaron's cock. Until it was too much.  
  
Aaron warned him that he was coming and Spencer was going to pull back- but Aaron didn't let go of his hair.  
  
So he swallowed as much as he could, bitter and kind of disgusting but well- it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Some of it got on his chin and when Aaron pulled back, he wiped it off with the back of his hand. He'd been surprised, Spencer hadn't come himself.  
  
But Aaron dropped down to his knees next to him, pushed Spencer's hand out of the way, and wrapped his fingers around him. Spencer whined, high in his throat, as the callouses on Aaron's fingers felt so different from his own.  
  
"Aaron," He all but cried out his name, as Aaron started to stroke him and it felt so good. Aaron's movements were practiced and sure, confident. It made Spencer glad he was already sitting down, because his knees felt vaguely weak. He clutched at Aaron's biceps anyways, like he needed to be physically held up.  
  
He surged forward and kissed Aaron when he came; he was glad when Aaron didn't pull back. Spencer kissed him deep, a little hard, biting his lip a little to where it might get swollen and bruised. And then he kept himself steady, still clutched at Aaron, while Aaron wiped his hands on Spencer's pants sort of obviously.  
  
Spencer didn't _really_ mind that much. It was better this way, when Aaron didn't pull away to wash his hands, where they were just like this- in the middle of the floor, sated- for a certain value of. Eventually, Spencer let go, when he realized he was holding on so tight that his hands were cramping. And Aaron stayed knelt down there on the floor next to him. Quiet for the moment and then he reached up and sort of smoothed down Spencer's hair.  
  
"Thank you," Aaron told him. A little quiet and Spencer nodded a little.  
  
Aaron didn't ask him to stay. Spencer didn't offer because it felt… he didn't think Aaron wanted him to. He didn't say anything after that, just quietly slipped out. Disheveled a bit in the hall, he definitely didn't meet Dave's eyes when he saw him up and about.  
  
He saw the way he raised his brows though and Spencer just slipped in to his room with tight shoulders and feeling even more alone than he had when the night began. He flopped over in his bed and stared at the ceiling. His lips were sore and he pressed his fingers to them, closing his eyes.  
  
But at least, afterwards, he finally fell asleep.


	2. The Feverish Flux of Human Interface and Interchange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Spencer could hear his heart hammering in his chest, fingers curled tight around the strap on his messenger bag._
> 
> _Aaron's sigh was audible in the relative quiet, though Spencer felt like his heart pounding was too. But if it was… well, Spencer was sure Aaron would have mentioned being able to hear that. The leather was getting damp from the sweat on his palms._

In the weeks after the incident (as Spencer was referring to it in his head), he got on his knees for Aaron a lot. It wasn't something that Spencer minded… not _exactly_. A general sense of unease, maybe, but that was simply because it was such an act of being used that it made his skin crawl sometimes. Not that Aaron was without his… reciprocation, for as far as it went.   
  
Sometimes, when Aaron was feeling particularly… giving? he would kiss Spencer, slow and deep and messy. Making Spencer breathless and a little uncomfortable with the intensity of it. Aaron's fingers would slide in to his hair and curl there, pinning him against the door (wall, desk, available surface) and making Spencer's knees go weak and watery.   
  
Making his heart twist and clench in this uncomfortable sort of emotion he knew that Aaron did not return.   
  
He didn't even _care_ except…   
  
"You have a date this weekend?" Dave had asked and he was pretty sure Aaron had not noticed Spencer coming up behind them.   
  
"Beth is visiting from New York," Aaron said with a nod to Dave's question. Spencer frowned a little.   
  
"But I thought…" Spencer interrupted, which he fell silent when both men turned to look at him. His shoulders tightened and slumped. "Nothing, I didn't think anything." Spencer's voice was quiet and a little strained and he shoved past Dave.   
  
"Is he alright?" He heard Dave behind him, but he had slammed his way in to the bathroom before he could hear Aaron's response. He felt like he couldn't _breathe_.   
  
Spencer hid in the stall, which proved to be a good idea, because he soon saw Aaron's shoes near the sink.   
  
"Is there a problem?" Aaron's voice echoed on the tiles in the bathroom. Spencer wished he could disappear but it wasn't like he could just _ignore_ Aaron. Spencer hadn't exactly been subtle about ducking in to here. But at least he didn't have to look at Aaron.   
  
"O-of course not," Spencer said quickly, stammering over his words in his excitement to get them out- _to lie_ \- "I just… no, there's no problem."   
  
Silence echoed louder than his words had.   
  
Spencer could hear his heart hammering in his chest, fingers curled tight around the strap on his messenger bag.   
  
Aaron's sigh was audible in the relative quiet, though Spencer felt like his heart pounding was too. But if it was… well, Spencer was sure Aaron would have mentioned being able to hear that. The leather was getting damp from the sweat on his palms.   
  
"Is there a reason you're hiding in a bathroom stall?" Aaron finally asked, voice measured.   
  
Spencer realized that one peek at his feet would make it sort of _obvious_ he wasn't using the bathroom. His grip tightened and he bit down hard on his lower lip.   
  
"I'm not _hiding_ ," Spencer said, "I was just um…"   
  
He honestly couldn't conjure up a good excuse. But he staunchly refused to come out anyways.   
  
"Right."   
  
Spencer didn't like when Aaron sounded like that. So flat and… well, very Unit Chief as opposed to Aaron. He heard the door open again and he was left with just the sound of his own thoughts.   
  
Maybe… maybe he could say no the next time Aaron wanted to be sucked off.   
  
This proved to be something that was easier said than done.   
  
Aaron showed up at his door that weekend, a little- he wasn't sure what he was. Frustrated?   
  
"Isn't Beth in town?" Spencer asked, surprised to see him. He felt awkward, in his fluffy robe and Monty Python Killer Rabbit slippers that Penelope had gotten him for his birthday. Aaron nodded. But then pushed his way past Spencer and in to the room.   
  
"She is," Aaron said, "Jessie has Jack for the weekend, but she's tired from the plane ride." Aaron wandered in to Spencer's kitchen and got himself a glass of water. Spencer hovered nervously. He wet his lips, brow furrowing, and he watched Aaron with a curious expression.   
  
"I don't understand why... you're here." Spencer's voice was almost a whisper. He shouldn't feel awkward here, damnit. This was _his_ home; Aaron should be the one feeling unsure. But he didn't appear to be anything other than completely calm and collected, confident.   
  
All the things Spencer generally liked about Aaron were getting under his skin in a way he couldn't shake out.   
  
"Beth's asleep," Aaron explained further. Slowly, like one would to a small child. Which- didn't explain anything at all. So Spencer raised his brows at him and clutched his robe to himself a little tighter. Aaron got an expression on his face which Spencer felt was the face Aaron made when he wanted to roll his eyes, but felt he was too mature to do so. "And so I came over here for some companionship."   
  
Spencer blinked stupidly at him.   
  
"But she cheated on you," Spencer said, "I don't even know why you-"   
  
He cut himself off with the way that Aaron's eyes narrowed. Spencer sniffed a little and changed what he was going to say.   
  
"I'm not your… your _mistress_ , Aaron," Spencer said hotly, shoulders tight again. "This isn't… this isn't what I want."   
  
"You don't want me?" Aaron asked, brows raising a little. Spencer fought back the whine. Because-  
  
"Of course I do, but not like this…" Spencer trailed off again and lowered his gaze, biting his lip hard. He felt Aaron approach him, his hand going to the back of his neck. It made him feel like he was being tamed- this visceral reaction to fall in line with it.   
  
"I…" Spencer tried to think of a protest as Aaron's fingers slid into his wet hair.   
  
Gentle pressure. It was so familiar.   
  
So… reassuring, somehow. With how easy it was. He didn't immediately go down, but his hands settled on Aaron's belt again.   
  
"We shouldn't do this," Spencer said and Aaron made a noise of assent.   
  
"Just one more time," Aaron coaxed him, voice gentle, "For the road?" Almost pleading.   
  
Spencer dutifully got down on his knees.   
  
Spencer thought he might hate Aaron Hotchner.  
  
On Monday- nothing had really changed. Spencer's knee was acting up, but at least it'd only been the one… interruption. Aaron had left right after and hadn't come to see him the rest of the weekend.   
  
Spencer was still thinking about it, though. Constantly replaying it over and over in his head. He didn't really hate Aaron. He actually maybe sort of… well, even in spite of everything. Kind of- _loved_ him, actually. Because Aaron was his hero and he'd always had a thing and this was.  
  
Not what he wanted, exactly.   
  
But his record of relationships hadn't been exactly _stellar_ and this was more than he'd ever expected to get from him. And maybe he should just be happy because-  
  
"I said, _how was your weekend_ , pretty boy," Derek's voice, loud, cut through his thoughts. Spencer stared stupidly at him for several long moments. Then he cleared his throat.   
  
"It was fine," Spencer said. He knew Aaron had heard the question. So he looked at him as he elaborated, "Nothing really exciting happened." He kept his gaze steady on Aaron, not that Derek really noticed.   
  
"I had a sore throat on Friday night and Saturday morning, though, so I just stayed in with my tea kettle and books."  He saw Aaron's brows jump to his hairline, getting that stern look on his face.   
  
"You're feeling better?" Derek asked.   
  
Spencer nodded slowly.   
  
"It was just a minor inconvenience, nothing I'm not used to by now, it comes and goes." Spencer watched as Aaron moved towards the break room.   
  
He felt a little bad for even saying it.   
  
He'd apologize later. Maybe.   
  
Spencer did not realize how much he'd come to rely on the... he wasn't sure how to term it. Closeness came as near to it as he could discern. But he didn't realize how much he had come to rely on it… to help him sleep, to make him feel on level ground, until he didn't have it.   
  
It seemed like Aaron really was sticking to the _one more time_ thing, which Spencer had really thought was a lie. He hadn't believed Aaron, he'd given in… because he'd wanted to. Because he _liked_ Aaron. Here, sitting in this hotel room in Phoenix, he almost wanted to go to him and offer.   
  
Spencer could ask Aaron if he could spend the night with him.   
  
He wouldn't even have to reciprocate or anything, Spencer would just like the chance to sleep wrapped in Aaron's strong arms. Comforting.   
  
He still remembered the sensation of them- saving him from the explosion at Randall Garner's house, hugging him after rescuing him- ( _I knew you'd understand_ )- from Hankel. There were some very good parts of having an eidetic memory. He would never forget that, ever.   
  
Spencer paced the hotel room, weighing the pros and cons of doing such a thing. But he lost his nerve and instead turned on the air conditioning and tried to sleep.   
  
He didn't sleep. He laid awake in bed instead, staring at the ceiling, until his eyes felt dry and scratchy. But even then, they wouldn't close. At least not for very long. Masturbating didn't really have the same effect, either, even though he could remember the feel of Aaron's hands, it wasn't the same as having them on him.   
  
It was really fucked up that he even wanted that considering how their whole "relationship" was going.   
  
Aaron still hadn't come back to him and it was making Spencer feel _anxious_.   
  
Admin days were a little more difficult for him now, because he kept getting distracted, his gaze flicking up to Aaron's closed office door. But _Dave's_ door was open. He wasn't sure he should involve Dave. But he needed some advice. Spencer wasn't sure how to go about that.   
  
So when he went up there, he asked the first thing that came to mind.   
  
"Dave, can I uh… ask you something?" Spencer asked. Dave looked up from his desk.   
  
"No, I'm not working or anything, please… let's have a conversation." Dave gestured to the chair across from his desk. Spencer hesitated, but decided to pretend he didn't notice that Dave was being sarcastic and took a seat. He didn't miss the annoyed little chuff the man let out.   
  
But he acted like he did.   
  
"Is Aaron still seeing Beth?" Spencer asked. Dave frowned.   
  
"As far as I know but he hasn't exactly mentioned anything about it," Dave sounded annoyed. "You'd probably be better off asking him."   
  
Spencer went to stand.   
  
"Although-"   
  
He sat back down.   
  
"One does wonder why you're interested in that," Dave said with his brows raising. "Do you have some sort of crush on Aaron?"   
  
Spencer's cheeks tinged and Dave dropped his pen.   
  
"You do?" Dave repeated, incredulous. Spencer didn't exactly confirm that. But he didn't deny it either. And the sort of squeaking noise he let out in response was probably as much affirmation as Dave needed. He was giving him this _look_. With his brows raised and it almost looked like his hair was surprised.   
  
Spencer had to try not laugh, because he felt really awkward and uncomfortable. And laughing was a fear response and well…   
  
He bit his lip hard.   
  
"It's not like, I mean, it isn't…" Spencer tried. But he was failing. He could tell he was failing because Dave's incredulous look hadn't faded at all.   
  
"Nevermind," Spencer said, "I'm sorry I bothered you." Spencer's voice was a little high.   
  
And he bolted out of Dave's office before the older man could ask questions.   
  
That hadn't gone well at all.   
  
It was a good thing the team, collectively, thought he was a little strange, because at least that meant that Dave wouldn't really ask.   
  
That same day, he was trying his level best to pretend the thing with Dave hadn't happened. But he noticed Dave go in and talk to Aaron. That was unsettling. He should have asked to go home or something. He could feign illness well enough.   
  
Dave and Aaron went to lunch together, which happened sometimes. And he found himself eating Thai food with Will and JJ and Henry, since he was pretty sure Derek and Penelope had gone on a date and Emily had taken off for the rest of the week to spend a few days with her mother before she went back to Russia.   
  
Spencer ate quickly, feeling a little sick with how affectionate Will and JJ were, and he wound up eating his curry at his desk with a plastic fork and poring over a geographical profile that he'd been asked to do as a consult. He was surprised when a cup of coffee was set down on his desk.   
  
It was gourmet and smelled great- the type of coffee he would splurge on; it was rich and dark and smelled sweet with sugar and all the confections he liked.   
  
Since they were mostly alone, Aaron pet Spencer's hair lightly. Spencer's eyes went a little wide and he looked up at Aaron. Aaron smiled at him.   
  
"I brought you a coffee," Aaron said. Spencer's heart thudded in his chest. Nervous. And a little- surprised, to be fair. But Aaron's hand was warm on his shoulder, the coffee smelled good. Aaron smelled good. Spencer grinned at him.   
  
"Th-thank you," Spencer said, his voice almost a whisper.   
  
Spencer noticed things like that, suddenly. Moments of something where Aaron showed this side of him that wasn't like what he'd seen before. It came mostly in things like that- coffee or sweets from a local café. One time, it was a book he'd had his eye on. And another, a book of Chess puzzles that were supposed to be very difficult to solve.   
  
It was… sweet.   
  
But Aaron was still seeing Beth, right? Dave had never answered solidly one way or the other. As much as he wanted it, it made Spencer uncomfortable. He considered what to do.   
  
Spencer felt it was in his best interest to distance himself from Aaron and so he decided to use some of his vacation days.   
  
When he came back from Vegas, and visiting his mom, and then his Aunt Ethel because his mom had insisted, he felt a little… calmer.   
  
Not by much. He'd cleared his head, but Spencer had sort of… thought about Aaron a lot. Which was the exact opposite of what he'd wanted to do, but he couldn't get his mind off of him. But at least he had… perspective now. His Aunt Ethel had been married five times and she deemed herself a relationship expert.   
  
It'd been awkward and he'd boiled their relationship down to _sex thing_ , but she'd given him good advice. About how someone who used him wasn't worth it. That if there was something there that it'd be a mutually beneficial thing. Which… mostly made Spencer resign to the fact that he and Aaron weren't going to be anything more than… co-workers.   
  
Spencer wasn't going to be his colleague-with-benefits any longer.   
  
Even if it had been partially fulfilling. In some ways. He had to remind himself that it hadn't been in the ways that had mattered.   
  
He settled in at his desk and listened to Derek and Emily chat about Vonnegut, but only vaguely listening as he started flipping through the files that were on his desk. He was startled a little when his desk was suddenly darkened. He peered up- and there was Aaron.   
  
"Is… everything alright? I just got back." Spencer tried for a smile, but it was a little… _difficult_ when he was still struggling a little with his own feelings about Aaron. He'd need some time.   
  
"I know," Aaron smiled at him. "Look, I wondered if… we should grab some dinner. We need to talk and this isn't really the place or the time. So… tonight? After work, I'll take you out for something to eat and maybe a drink and… please say yes?"   
  
Spencer had been planning on saying _no_. Because… separation was key. But…   
  
"Of course we can get dinner," Spencer smiled back, but it was still not entirely... genuine. He could tell Aaron noticed, with the way he squeezed at Spencer's shoulder and then moved back towards his office. Spencer was a little _worried_ about what Aaron wanted to talk about.   
  
They didn't wind up anywhere fancy, just this little bar called _Sullivan's_ that had passably authentic Irish food and a good beer selection, although Spencer mostly drank brandy when he drank at all. Aaron did order a beer and something with a lot of potatoes in it. Spencer watched him as he drank Irish coffee and ate a bowl of soup.   
  
He was too nervous about what Aaron might want to say to eat.   
  
"I wanted to apologize for the… way I treated you, had been treating you," Aaron started- midway through the meal after he'd started on his second beer. "What I did was completely unfair to you. I was frustrated and upset and you didn't- never- said no and while it should not have happened as often as… well, I know what I did was wrong."   
  
Spencer paused in eating his soup. That, he had not expected.   
  
"I guess somewhere between what I was looking for from Beth and what I was getting from you I muddled things up pretty badly, but I'm hoping… with some time and some work we can…" Aaron frowned and gulped down more of his beer.   
  
"We can?" Spencer prompted, spoon still hovering. His lips parted a little.   
  
Aaron set his beer stein down kind of heavily, making the table jump a little. Spencer's elbow had been braced on the table and his soup spilled everywhere.   
  
It was lukewarm now though, so he didn't mind, just waited for Aaron to continue.   
  
"We can… have or… at least try to… have a fresh start?" Aaron sounded unsure. Which made Spencer feel a little uncertain because he'd never heard that in Aaron's voice. "I know it's a lot to ask. But I broke up with Beth and while you were gone I did a lot of thinking about… what we had done. And I think I always knew that well… I like you, Spencer." Aaron looked like he felt helpless.   
  
"I probably have for longer than I should. I probably should have come forward with it sooner. I… should have done a lot of things I didn't and not do things that I did, but mostly… I am sorry for what happened, for _how_ it happened because I wouldn't… I liked being with you. I want to be with you."   
  
Spencer felt sort of dumbfounded. Because he hadn't really expected any of that.   
  
"If that was something you still wanted, because I… do understand if you don't. But I wanted to… I'll let you think about it." Aaron said.   
  
"You can think about it and we'll revisit it later. Tomorrow. Next week. Whenever you're ready." Aaron smiled at him. And then changed the subject, "Is your soup good?" He asked.   
  
Spencer nodded a little and tried to think of something else to say. But he was at a loss, so he just went back to eating his soup.   
  
Spencer didn't know if he should give him a chance or not.   
  
Spencer didn't make a final decision until a week and a half after their lunch; but work had gone as normal. Aaron was in his normal mood during that time. Spencer was surprised that Aaron hadn't stopped acting the way he had been before- with the little thoughtful gestures.   
  
Spencer was a little worried. He didn't want it to be like before and he was afraid he'd easily slide back in to bad habits. He had a difficult time imagining things being different, when precedence- what he'd done with Aaron and his previous relationships- made him feel like things weren't going to go well.   
  
Then again- it was _Aaron_ and he'd apologized and said things Spencer had wanted him to say. He wanted to believe it would be different. Spencer had faith in Aaron's words- had always put stock in that- and he decided, eventually, that he wanted it to work.   
  
That he wanted there to be a chance for them.   
  
Halfway through that day, Spencer had braved his way up to Aaron's office.   
  
"I want to do it," Spencer said without preamble. But he knew Aaron would know what he was referring to, and the warm smile- relief suffusing him- on Aaron's face was enough to put Spencer's mind at ease. He was sure it'd be different this time.   
  
When they went out that night- their date was interrupted by being called in for a case- but much later, once they'd settled in to the hotel, Aaron had invited him over to share room service and watch movies. It was comfortable, he tucked up against Aaron's chest and listened to him breathe.   
  
He fell asleep there and it was the most comfortable he'd been in a long time.

 

They went on a few dates after that- mostly dinner, and a lot of the times it was dinner in hotel rooms and pay-per-view movies. And one time, Aaron had laid his head in Spencer's lap and he'd read him _The Sound and the Fury_ aloud. It was something that was… important to Spencer. He'd grown up with his mother reading to him and it was something that signified- _closeness_ to him.   
  
Aaron fell asleep with his head in his lap and it was that sort of casual, easy, _familiar_ intimacy.   
  
It was a good type of dating, anyways. It gave them a lot of time together and it came to a point where Spencer was in his room almost every night. Mostly just cuddling, a lot of kissing. Aaron _really_ liked making out. Spencer was definitely a fan of that.   
  
Aaron kissed like he did everything else. Intense and wholly and _focused_. Spencer almost felt his chest going tight when they were kissing. He clutched on to Aaron as the older man would settle Spencer in to his lap and tug on his hair with his hands roaming everywhere.   
  
It was hot and thrilling and never went beyond that- which was _fine_. Spencer liked all of the attention.   
  
Sometimes Aaron would take Spencer's shirt off and ghost his fingernails over Spencer's skin and make goosebumps raise everywhere and make little embarrassingly needy noises in to Aaron's mouth, rutting against his stomach. He could often feel Aaron hard beneath him, but he didn't take it further than that.   
  
Like he was trying to make up for everything else.   
  
One night, Aaron pushed Spencer down and straddled his hips and kissed him so deeply Spencer felt like they were becoming one person.   
  
Aaron rocked his world, too, sliding down his body and tugging his pants down and sucking him off.   
  
Spencer was _loud_. He couldn't help it as he'd clutched at the headboard and rolled his hips in to Aaron's mouth.   
  
And the following morning at breakfast, Derek was giving him a _look_ , but he felt too good to be embarrassed.  
  
The following week, their job had gotten in the way again, leaving Spencer with blood stained hands shaking uncontrollably and Aaron refusing a visit to the hospital as the paramedics bandaged up the cuts in his leg. Spencer's heart was racing, fear making it feel like it was in a fierce whine. Fluttering and jumping and aching like the beginning of a heart attack.   
  
He was near panting, wanting to push the paramedic out of the way and tend to Aaron himself.   
  
He helped him up to the hotel room, still trembling, shaking like he had a fever and chewing hard on his lower lip. Spencer helped Aaron into bed, settled him against the headboard and promptly crawled in to his lap. Spencer wasn't normally the aggressor.   
  
But the UnSub had had a _knife_ on Aaron. Had been close enough to slash him. Had been… had been close to…   
  
" _Aaron_ ," He groaned out his name against his lips and Aaron was looking sort of surprised, though not resistant. He looked disheveled as Spencer half unbuttoned his shirt and took off his tie and threaded his fingers in to his short hair and pulled while he kissed him.   
  
"Spencer," Aaron's voice was low and rough and Spencer wished he could stop long enough to explain but he _needed_ to feel him. All of him. The need for connection, for real connection- deep and meaningful on the _physical_ level. It wasn't exactly like they didn't already have a connection… something that transcended the physical. But Spencer needed this right now.   
  
He needed to feel Aaron.   
  
He needed the warmth and his skin and his mouth and everything. Because he could have been seriously hurt and that was something to be celebrated that he wasn't. He pulled Aaron's hair too tight, bit his lip too hard- though Aaron didn't seem to mind. Because he just sucked on Spencer's lower lip, hands tight at his hips and dragging him in close.   
  
" _Spence_ ," Aaron gasped out against him as he felt him hard against his stomach. Spencer whined a little.   
  
"Please, please…" Spencer begged a little. Unsure of _exactly_ what he wanted, but Aaron seemed to know, because he just dragged him up, one broad palm at the small of his back, holding him close as he worked at the awkward angle to undo Spencer's belt.   
  
Aaron did it sightlessly, Spencer knew this because even through his vest and button down he could feel Aaron's lips tracing over his chest as he did it.   
  
He felt a little nervous, but mostly desirious and his hands curled at Aaron's shoulders.   
  
Aaron had a lot more finesse than Spencer would have given him credit for. Their previous relationship had been so much take and take and _take_ that when Aaron was giving it was still sort of surprising. Not that Spencer minded that. He liked when Aaron was so generous, and even in this, it was perfect. His fingers smoothed between his cheeks, dry and a little insistent as it pressed there.   
  
He wasn't pushing in. It was just _pressure_ and feeling, making Spencer run hot as Aaron's fingers rubbed against him. Aaron's noise was frustrated as well as wanting and Spencer blinked down at him with wide, dark eyes. Aaron bit his lower lip, looking up through his lashes at Spencer.   
  
"We need… um…" Spencer trailed off, watching as the smile lit on Aaron's face.   
  
"There's some in my go bag," Aaron admitted. Spencer raised his brows, "I wasn't expecting anything just… just in case…" It was going to serve them well, as Spencer scrambled off of Aaron's lap to go rifle through the pockets to find it.   
  
There wasn't a ton- just a small travel-sized bottle, but it'd be enough for tonight which was all that Spencer cared about right now.   
  
It didn't take him very long to climb back on top of Aaron after that either. Right back in that same position, where Aaron's hands started undoing buttons, so this time, Aaron's lips were right against his stomach. His tongue tracing over his abdomen, dipping in to his belly button.   
  
Spencer made an embarrassing high pitched noise, sort of a laugh, because it _tickled_ but mostly just- he wasn't sure. The heat it sparked across his skin was sort of white in its intensity. Mostly because he knew what was coming next. He was half undressed down, his shirt undone and his pants down around his knees.   
  
Spencer was so hard, pressing against Aaron's chest with the way he was balanced on his knees. Spencer's head hit the wall behind the headboard as Aaron's finger started to press inside of him. His fingers were tight against the wood of the headboard, drywall cool against his forehead. Aaron's finger was warm and insistent, sinking inside of him.   
  
It was a little- strange. He had tried to do this to himself before, but it hadn't been as deep. Aaron's fingers were wider. And the angle was completely different. Completely _better_. He squirmed a little in Aaron's lap as he adjusted to the feel of Aaron's finger inside of him.   
  
His breath came out in a harsh pant, nails scraping against the wood of the headboard, knuckles scraping against the wall.   
  
Aaron's other hand came up to wrap around Spencer's cock, stroking over him sure and steady, helping him  focus on that, instead of- the wider stretch as Aaron was adding a second finger. He made another whining sound, eyes closing tightly, legs spreading a little wider.   
  
"It's alright?" Aaron's voice was rough, low and needy and Spencer nodded and then-  
  
"Yes, yes, _oh god, please_ ," Spencer managed to get out. Aaron's fingers were pressing over his prostate, making Spencer's toes curl a little tightly, instep cramping. And he was clutching so hard at the headboard his knuckles were going white.   
  
He couldn't decide whether to rock back against Aaron's fingers or forward in to the tight circle of his hand. He was torn and it made him feel almost immobile, paralyzed by the sort of indecision of which way to move.   
  
Except then Aaron was curling his fingers and Spencer _shouted_ , because of the sudden, intense and unexpected sensation. He glanced down at Aaron. And he looked so smug, Spencer tried to call him a bastard, but it came out as an incoherent sort of noise when Aaron's finger pressed in a little deeper.   
  
"I… I can't. Aaron… Aaron _please_ ," Spencer started begging. He thrust against Aaron and he raised his hands up, bracing himself on the wall, fingernails scraping against it, like he was clawing at the wall as Aaron added a third finger.   
  
Spencer made little whimpering noises and continued to claw at the wall as he started rolling his hips down against Aaron's fingers.   
  
Aaron hissed in a little breath and adjusted the angle of his fingers. Which made Spencer see honest-to-god spots in front of his eyes.   
  
"Fuck!" Spencer gasped out, jerking forward. "Pleasepleaseplease." Spencer's words crashed in to one another as he rolled his hips again.   
  
"I need you, Aaron, Aaron…" Spencer gasped out his name.   
  
Aaron's fingers drew out of him and it left Spencer feeling empty, panting a little. And making a little- "no!" squeaking sound when it happened. But it wasn't very long, the empty feeling, because he felt Aaron moving beneath him and then he was helping to guide him down.   
  
Of course, Aaron was bigger than the width of his fingers, even though he was incredibly slick. Spencer's eyes squeezed shut tightly and his hands braced down on Aaron's shoulders, fingers curling hard against them. Feeling the play of muscle there, and focusing on that.   
  
He had to. He had to focus on something _else_. Because Aaron was pressing up inside of him. Aaron was inside of him. Aaron was- oh god he had never ever imagined having this. His nails were biting crescent moon impressions in to Aaron's shoulders.   
  
The stretch was wide, in a way that made Spencer bite his lower lip and for moisture to gather at the edges of his eyes, even as his erection flagged some, but Aaron's hand was still around him, stroking him steadily. And it wasn't long at all before Aaron rolled his hips up in time to the way his hand was sliding over his cock.   
  
Spencer's cheeks felt hot and his arms slid around Aaron's neck. Aaron turned his head slightly, rubbing his cheek against Spencer's a little, nuzzling against him a bit. It made Spencer's heart race. He could smell Aaron's cologne, feel the roll of his hips, and where Aaron's hands were clutching at his hips.   
  
"D-don't hurt your leg," Spencer cautioned. "Wait, I'll…" Spencer flushed dark. He ducked in to kiss Aaron again, still clutching at his shoulders. It was more desperate than before- different feeling when Aaron was so deep inside of him.   
  
Spencer gave his hips an experimental roll and he watched as Aaron's eyes closed, fluttering lids, and the way his lips parted.   
  
"There we go," Spencer whispered. Aaron nodded a little.   
  
"It's good," Aaron said, his voice low and rough. His eyes were still closed and Spencer kissed Aaron again, rolling his hips again.   
  
"Yeah," Spencer whispered. He bumped their noses together a little. "Just relax and I'll…" Spencer trailed off and then started to move with more rhythm. It was good. Aaron's hips rocked up a little and Spencer moaned. He pressed his face against Aaron's neck and kept riding him.   
  
God it was fucking good. His fingers pushed in to Aaron's hair and he mouthed along his neck, muffling his noises against his skin. Aaron's fingers were still pressing in against his hips. The headboard knocked against the wall a little, though Spencer was trying to be incredibly mindful of Aaron's leg.   
  
Spencer was getting increasingly louder, driving down against Aaron, until he couldn't even muffle himself. Aaron's hand moved, wrapping around Spencer's erection again, and he stroked him in time to his thrusts the best that he could, even though it wasn't really quite in rhythm.   
  
And it was still great. He knew that he was pulling Aaron's hair too tight, but Aaron's teeth closed around his ear lobe, and it was so perfect. When Spencer came- it hit him with a dizzying sort of intensity, and after his first cry, Aaron's fingers pressed in between his lips.   
  
Spencer looked down to Aaron as he sucked on his fingers. Aaron's eyes were dark and wide and his cheeks were red. So Spencer sucked on his fingers a little harder, scraping his teeth over his fingertips. He could feel when Aaron came too, just the sudden thrusting up, the little noise he made.   
  
_That_ one that Spencer was certainly used to. He'd heard it often enough and it still made him feel hot and bothered, even in the afterglow.   
  
Spencer stayed in Aaron's lap for several, long heartbeats, nuzzling up against his neck and sighing softly. He felt Aaron's fingers in his hair, petting lightly, and then Spencer moved off of him, tucking back up against his chest, fingers splaying there.   
  
"I'm glad you're alright," Spencer sighed out. He felt, more than heard, Aaron's little laugh. Spencer cuddled up closer.   
  
Aaron's hand in his hair made him feel comforted. His eyes slid closed.   
  
He thought that he might love Aaron Hotchner. But that'd be something to explore another day. For now, he was just reveling in this.  


End file.
